Okay, Cowboys Nation, the obligatory 48 hours of disbelief have gone, and we are now in the fury stage, right? If you’re unfamiliar, I’m talking about the five phases of grief. Common reactions include denial, rage, bargaining, and sadness.
Okay, Cowboys Nation, the obligatory 48 hours of disbelief have gone, and we are now in the fury stage, right?
If you’re unfamiliar, I’m talking about the five phases of grief.
Denial, rage, bargaining, despair, and acceptance are the stages in order, and judging from my Twitter/X timeline today, most fans have progressed to stage two.
Angry because the Green Bay Packers won so convincingly.
Angry that yet another season of high expectations ended prematurely.
We all grieve differently, and I like to deal with sadness in the same manner that many other individuals with coping challenges do: through humor.
To guide you through my sadness, I shall use a vessel that is very precious to me and many others in my generation:
Adam Sandler is my favorite actor, comedian, and entertainer.
I can remember quotes from almost every Adam Sandler film.
I’ll use these lines to talk directly to the Dallas Cowboys, the team that has us all in tears.
Without further ado, here’s a dedication to the squad we’re so disappointed in.
I am talking to you, Dallas Cowboys. This letter is to you.
You blew it!! (Billy Madison)
Despite losing two consecutive away games in December, everything clicked into place flawlessly in the final weeks of the season.
You finished the season with 12 wins for the third consecutive year, while the rival Eagles collapsed spectacularly.
Philadelphia’s ineptness, combined with your massive win over the Detroit Lions, earned you as the conference’s second seed.
You dodged the hot Rams and the dangerous Seahawks in the Wildcard round thanks to an unexpected set of circumstances that unfolded in the final week of the regular season.
The fan base was ecstatic after Jimmy Johnson was inducted into the Ring of Honor, thus breaking the nearly three-decade curse, right?
All of the stars were set for a deep playoff run to silence the skeptics and reintroduce the Cowboys into the Super Bowl debate.
Instead, you came out lifeless and uninspired, bickering with each other.
Until it was too late, the defense was lethargic and the offense was short.
Another disappointing playoff exit later, and we’re talking about the draft before the calendar flips to February.
You blew it.
Where were you? (Jack and Jill)
I’m speaking with the team that included nine All-Pro players and dominated so many inferior teams throughout the regular season.
That club on the field Sunday against the Packers is not the one we saw win nine games by 20 scores or more.
That team, if that’s what you want to call it, was nothing more than a group of imposters dispatched to make the Packers appear better than their 9–8 record.
The question we’ve been asking ourselves since the second quarter that fateful Sunday is, “Where were you?”
Are You Too Good for Your Home? (Happy Gilmore)
In this situation, you were not a suitable fit for your home. You were simply not good enough at home.
After going 8-0 at home in 2023 and a 16-game winning streak extending back to 2022, you kept your single setback for the most important game.
Following the loss, a different streak begins, but this time it favors the Green Bay Packers.
Following the 48-32 thrashing, the Packers have now won ten of the previous eleven matchups and have never lost at AT&T Stadium.
For a team that we thought had changed the narrative on home field advantage, you really waited a long time to prove us wrong.
You were bullied on your own field and sent home.
Hello, We Can Fix This (Big Daddy).
The truth is, no matter how upset we are with you, we will return to training camp to support you.
However, you must make some changes before we can trust you again.
A coach or player who has competed at the highest level and understands what a locker room requires to advance the team.
Oh No! We Suck Again! (The Water Boy)
This one appears to be making the rounds on Cowboys Twitter when most supporters are still in the angry stage of sorrow.
Personally, I know enough football to realize that a 12-5 club that finished second in the league and has nine All-Pro players is not bad.
Whether anyone wants to admit it after another early playoff departure, the Dallas Cowboys of 2023 were one of the best regular-season teams in history.
They set multiple NFL records for both team and individual accomplishments, instilling hope and expectations in Cowboys Nation before quickly shattering them.
I’m saddened by the loss of the 2023 Dallas Cowboys, who died far too young.
But soon, we’ll be talking about the 2024 Dallas Cowboys, as we eagerly await September to watch you take the field for another Super Bowl hopeful season.
And so the vicious cycle begins anew.
